Excited, anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed are just a few of my feelings I had when I posted my very first blog.
Those who know me would say this is "normal" for the very hyperactive Ponn. I openly and proudly refer myself to "Psycho Ponn" often. It's a good-thing – most of the time.
As I reflect on what I consider the best and worse year of my life, I pray that no one ever has to bare the physical and emotional pain I experienced (and still experiencing) due to a freak-accident. On the other hand, I'm ready to share the joy, peace, and inner-love what I call my womanly-empowerment with the entire world.
On July 10, 2004 I was innocently coming into traffic with the permission of my green light. A frantic mom running late for her daughter's Chuck E Cheese party was racing head-on towards me. All I can remember was catching a glimpse of her eyes. Then, within milliseconds the faces of my husband and 3 baby girls (then, 4, 3, & 1 years old) flashed before me.
Amazingly, I opened my eyes to life.
I believe that this accident was a divine act of God because I don't remember putting anymore pressure on the gas to grace me with life. My car was totaled.
As a typical Mom, I was over-worked, over-exhausted, over-committed, over-everything. I put everyone (particularly my family and work) ahead of my own health and well-being. I never had a good night's sleep and rarely had a warm meal because I was always running around, trying to please everyone and make everything perfect.
I was a perfectionist in the worse way. I found out that the pressures never came from my family or work … it was all from Me! I built images of what was considered perfect.
During the three months that I could not cook, clean, launder, or drive, my family and work lived perfectly-fine without me. Of course, everyone made sacrifices, but no one died or even came close to it. In reality, the life I was living was killing me.
Thank God for this accident.
Why do we, as women do this to ourselves? Why do we feel guilt when we place our own happiness and well-being over our kids and husbands? Hint: We do it to ourselves. And, it's time to stop!
I noticed that peace entered our home when I was lying in bed day after day. I noticed happiness filled the air when their Mom was finally able to laugh and hug again.
Women have an incredible ability to create the atmosphere around them, so it's time to live a happy and healthy life with them too.
Humbled by this great gift of life, I find it ironic that I'm reflecting on the meaning of my own birth name: Ponn = God's Gift (of Life).
May we, as women, always praise God for the gift of our lives. We must stop the abuse and time to care of our own lives Now.
PS To the Psycho-Mom who hit me, I'm grateful for all these lessons I learned. I pray that you gained from this accident too.
(c) 2005 Ponn M. Sabra, MPH